What if the antidote to fear was self-trust? All of us hit those times in life where we want to take the next step, put one foot in front of the other, or make that huge giant leap, be it a new career, a new relationship or simply just even going to a social event.
For a lot of us, we hit a layer of fear that stifles us. It stops us right in our tracks and keeps us from making the leaps and bounds that we want to make in our lives. We see a clear vision. We imagine what it would feel like to be at the party, to say no when we don't want to do something and to say yes when we do. But the fear pops in and we stay stuck in the cycle of where we are, which is growing to be uncomfortably comfortable.
We want to venture out of our comfort zones but the fear typically pushes us back in. We become prisoners and chained to our own fears and thoughts and never truly embracing the lives that we dream of.
What if self-trust was the antidote to fear?
To eliminating fear so that we can live our fullest lives. What truly is it that we’re in fear of? Are we in fear of making the wrong choice? If we leave the marriage that we won't be able to support ourselves, find love again and be alone for the rest of our lives?
Fear in changing our career path and starting our own business in which we are passionate about. The fear of not being able to pay the bills, fear of failure, fear of making a mistake, not having the same income, security or resources that we currently have at the very stable job - which, by the way, is soul-sucking and holds no passion.
What about going to the party or social event? Is there a fear that we will say the wrong thing, not look a certain way, become so overwhelmed that it is awkward. Or maybe a fear that we will drink too much, eat too much or share too much?
There's always a fear to move through for all of us. The common thread I see in all of these fears is a lack of self-trust, knowing that we can and will do/be/create the way we desire to.
Trusting that we will create what it is we desire in our lives. Knowing that we trust ourselves to say the right thing gives us permission to speak our truth and be in the moment with more joy, creativity, and passion.
And if we don't say the “right thing” in the eyes of someone else, love ourselves anyways and stay committed, dedicated, and loyal to ourselves versus falling into judgment and criticism siding with the person in whose eyes we didn't say the “right thing”. Trusting that we will not fall into self-deprecation if we feel we said the wrong thing and are judged or not accepted by others. Trust ourselves to have our own back and be compassionate and gracious with ourselves.
It takes a lighthearted vibration of amusement to stay above the vacuum effect of being pulled into limiting beliefs, behaviors, and actions created from judgment. The negative thoughts that we have towards ourselves. What if we trusted that no matter what, we will make it work. We will have the money to pay the bills. We will create exactly what we're desiring. It may look different, but the elements of what we want to experience and create in this life, we are more than capable of creating.
We are in the present moment and trust that whatever comes our way, we can manage. We will have the information, answers, and awareness to respond accordingly when situations arise.
What if you trust that? What if you adopted the term, “not if, but when”. Not if my business does well, but when it succeeds. Not if I find love again, but when I find love again. Not if I create an amazing group of friends, but when I create an amazing group of friends.
Trusting ourselves that we will show up no matter what. One of the ways that we do this is to do what we say, make small commitments to ourselves and do them no matter what. Show yourself by creating evidence of your reliability and capabilities and develop a solid sense of self and trust in self.
If you say we want to work out every single day, then work out every single day. Even if that means doing so at 10 o'clock at night before going to sleep. When you wake the next morning, you cannot imagine how empowered you will feel knowing that despite exhaustion, despite the voices in your head saying “just go to sleep and do it tomorrow”, you chose to stay true to you and you did it anyway.
This establishes a pattern and energy that you can trust yourself because you will do what you say.
Self-trust is essential in overcoming fear, so the next time you look fear in the eye, ask yourself, what is it that you are not trusting yourself about? What commitment and dedication do you need to make to yourself in order to have your desire, your passion for making this change, be more powerful than the fear. Then do that.
Fear is just an energy. What you feed grows. Put your attention on the change, the decision, the greatness you want to invite into your life. Then thank the fear and send it on its way, knowing that you have got your own back and will make it happen through moment by moment decisions and responding to what is in front of you. You've got what it takes to make it happen because you trust yourself and know that no matter what, you will show up and do what you need to do.
There is nothing to fear but fear itself.