Are your wheels turning and turning, sweat and tears and fierce determination, commitment or even fear pushing the peddles, yet you stand still. No movement. No forward motion.
And the defeat sets in. The waves of emotions such as frustration, disappointment and anger crash. And thoughts of "maybe I'm not supposed to move on, maybe this is a sign, maybe I should just accept where I am" begin to grow.
Nope. You are designed to grow. You are always growing. It is inevitable. A tree can't wake up one morning and say "I think today I will stop growing".
That tree can't. Literally can not. Because it's not up to the tree. Just as it is not up to you.
There is an energy, a force, life force, moving everything forward always. Supporting, with love and grace, all that is true for that tree.
It guides, supports and gives that tree everything it needs to become the most beautiful, strongest, healthiest tree it can be. The tree doesn't fight this force, it just is. And so it grows towards the sun while it's roots grow deeper into the earth without struggle or resistance.
But we do. As humans we do, we struggle and resist the natural flow of life. We want things to stay the same for ease while secretly praying for our circumstances to change. A new career, more love or intimacy, financial security, freedom to be who we truly are, move where we desire or whatever it may be.
Our bodies go into fear. Bodies are all about survival and they send messages, strong messages, such as "if you change jobs how will you feed your children and if you release this relationship who will love you".
But your soul is simultaneously daydreaming visions of beautiful new beginnings - change and growth - and you start to feel a bit, well, crazy.
So how do we align our physical worlds with our heart's desires, our soul's truth? Here is a small tidbit for a humungous, gigantic question.
Our job is to embrace this life force and surf it's magnificent current understanding that we are not in "control" of it.
When we resign to this, to ourselves,
when we listen and feel and vision our way through every moment and accept what we hear, feel and see then we find more peace, joy, rhythm, ease, flow.
And voila! Our lives are brighter, more joyful, loving experiences.
When we deny this flow this current, when we deny our spirit, and chose to dig our heels in the mud and stay where we are because we think it is comfortable or safe or "at least I know what it is" type of thing, hardship, heart-ache, soul-ache happens.
Now I am not saying that embracing the flow, the change that is inevitable, is full of pure rainbows and sunshine. In fact, most likely it will be riddled with hardship, heartache sadness and depths we didn't know we could survive.
But it is a different kind of pain.
The "I am staying where I am route" brings ache of deep sorrow and remorse because you, as a spirit, know that you are not moving forward.
The ache is happening in vain. It is in a pattern - the hamster wheel - there is no light at the end of the tunnel. This pain and ache will just keep circling in this vicious cycle creating deep, and at times, tormenting sorrow.
Even if you choose to stay in the wheel, one day it will break. And typically when the wheel breaks it is a catastrophe where we are the "victim" and it is disempowering.
The other option is to consciously make the decision to step off the ride, thank it for its purpose and hop in the surf taking ownership of our choice which is empowering.
The "ok let's surf" route of embracing the change and trusting your intuition is the good kinda ache. The kind that is so painful, visceral and real but feels good deep down in your soul.
Because you are moving forward and you see this, know this and feel this. You are accepting your truth.
And experiencing all of the emotions that goes with that is good. Just miraculous really. You are clearing the energy. It is releasing. You are creating change, healing. You are letting go of where you have been.
The pain, the past, what once was true for you, starts flowing like a river away from you. Maybe with a couple of circular pit stops - where you revisit the same thoughts or emotions because they were that impactful and you need to say goodbye and thank you just one more time - but this pain is always moving towards the exit door of your space once you make the choice to accept and flow.
And this is your truth.
A glimpse of "I am going to be OK" peeks in every now and again. A surge of enthusiasm runs through your body, through each chakra, and you feel giddy. And slowing your joy, the joy that is ignited from your belly, heart and soul stir and radiates from your core.
And HOW do we do this.
First step. Awareness.
Become aware of where you are and notice what you notice. Notice how you feel. Call your awareness to your truth - presented in visions, feelings and thoughts - to the powerful grace called life force and notice if you are denying yourself and trying to muscle your life into a shape or keeping life from changing shape.
With awareness comes choice. Choice to stay where you are or choice to make change, heal, let go, move forward and flow.
Truth being you are always evolving, growing, becoming brighter and more wise creating an even greater capacity to love and receive love. And that is living.
Trust. And claim your truth. Stop the spinning. Surf the waves. And grow big. Your body will thank you for taking over the command station.
See you in the surf of the soul, growing towards the sun while rooting down into the earth.